Is it the Stress?

Stress.

It’s a word you hear everywhere.

Our minds are stressed, our bodies are stressed, and even our cats and dogs are stressed.

But what is it and what causes it?

There are scientific explanations, and there are spiritual ones.

I can see and understand both.

And sometimes when we lean too heavily on the scientific, we resign ourselves to the fact that we cannot do anything about it except make external changes to our lives.

But when you look at it in a different way, you begin to understand that stress is anchored in resistance.

Resistance to a happenstance, resistance to a decision, resistance to change.

When we (our minds) resist, many things can happen.

A tightness forms in our physical and emotional body, we clench, we hold our breath, we do not wish to accept the situation, so we tense up against it, we wish to hold on to control.

Our heart races, we get sweaty palms, and our body and mind responds with a fight or flight response.

We may move fast to bypass or rush through, or we may delay or freeze.

These responses in the body and mind are termed ‘stress’. However in many circumstances one of the biggest contributors to this stress is our resistance to the situation happening.

I recently watched a new friend go through so much stress with a situation that was entirely outside of her control,

I noticed that because she was so resistant to this situation happening, resistant to not being in control, that it was creating a lot of stress, for herself and those around her, including myself.

For this kind of stress to show up in your life and affect your relationships and your interactions it can be quite damaging to yourself and to others.

What I try to do now, instead of trying to change the present moment or our external circumstances (because, as written in a previous blog, you cannot control ‘change’).

Instead of trying to manage the stress, the byproduct, I try to combat the resistance that shows up first.

How do I do this?

By leaning into acceptance, A word that means nothing unless practiced.

By accepting a situation as it is, neither good nor bad, just a situation, without attaching meaning to it, we can step outside the situation and look at it from an eagle’s eye.

Acceptance doesn’t mean liking or disliking it, just accepting it as it plays out.

And I am not talking about allowing, accepting and allowing are two different things, allowing comes after. You can choose to allow or not allow a situation to continue, if you have the ability to, but you must look at the situation objectively first to gain clarity and direction.

Through this space of acceptance, we can begin to build self-efficacy, a belief in ourselves that we are able and capable of dealing with situations as they arise, trusting our ability to handle both this situation and others in life.

This can help us not only deal with stress and resistance, but also supports self-love and self-confidence, which is really powerful.

Sometimes it is hard to create space for ourselves during a situation and truly just see it for what it is because our emotions have a way of pulling us in, but I promise that if you start to practice this, it will only help in numerous ways, and you will be glad you did.

So next time a situation that causes you to feel stress shows up, try looking at it objectively, try to give yourself some space and time to digest it before getting carried away with all the worst case scenarios.

Say to yourself: ‘I am capable and able to handle this situation as it plays out’

‘I have confidence in my ability to make it through this situation, regardless of what happens’

‘I trust myself’

‘I trust my ability’

and ‘I trust my judgement to make decisions and take necessary action’

From this space you can then make clearer decisions regarding the situation.

This is hard, but I promise it is worth it.

Until next time

E Xxx 💜